“我希望你运气坏一点”：美国首席大法官在儿子毕业典礼上的话好狠却更暖

演讲｜John Roberts

编译｜少年商学院新媒体部

前几天，美国最高法院大法官John Roberts受邀到儿子就读的卡迪根山中学（cardigan mountain school）的毕业典礼做演讲。

演讲不长，看完却让人大跌眼镜——不同于其他毕业演讲给孩子“打鸡血”，充满正能量，Roberts竟祝愿所有毕业生承受不公、遭遇背叛、品尝孤单……但看完之后，我们却更能体谅一个父亲的良苦用心。

（点击上方视频观看演讲）

Roberts的演讲可谓重申了法国批判现实主义作家Romain Rolland的名言：世上只有一种英雄主义，就是在认清生活的真相之后，依然热爱生活。学院君将其演讲翻译如下，与您分享：

Forever YoungBob Dylan – Planet Waves

现如今，全国无论是在大学、高中，还是初中的毕业典礼上，演讲者都会站在不耐烦的毕业生前，说着同一件事情：“今天只是开始，不是结束，你必须向前看。” 这当然是对的，不过我觉得，如果你想向前看，找出来自己想往哪里去，最好还是先弄清楚你从哪里来，曾经历过什么。

 

如果你能想起你刚来Cardigan的那个下午，你可能会记得那时的你是多么孤独，你可能有点害怕、有点焦虑。但现在，看看你自己，你的身边有称兄道弟的朋友，你是如此自信地迎接着你的下一个受教育的阶段。

 

不妨思考一下这种变化的原因，这是非常有价值的，如果你真的这么去做了，你会感激于——正是同学们在教室里、在运动场上、在宿舍里对你的帮助，成就了你。你收获了自信，不是因为你在方方面面都获得了成功，而是得益于朋友们的帮助，你不再害怕失败。

 

失败了第一次，你爬起来再接再厉，失败了第二次，你爬起来再接再厉，失败了第三次……或许你得考虑一下做点别的事情。但这原本就不仅仅关乎成功，而关乎你不害怕失败——这才是支撑你到今天的关键。

 

毕业典礼上的演讲嘉宾通常也会祝你们好运，给了你们很多美好的祝愿，但我不会这样。下面我就来告诉你为什么。

 

在未来的岁月里，我希望你偶尔承受不公，好让你明白公正的价值之高。

 

我希望你不时遭遇背叛，好让你懂得忠诚的份量之重。

 

虽然这么说很抱歉，但我希望你时不时地品尝孤单，好让你明白朋友并非理所应当。

 

再次强调，我希望你的运气偶尔差一点，好让你看清“机会”二字在漫漫人生中的角色，领悟到你的成功也好，别人的失败也好，都不是“就该这样”。

 

当你失去了什么——这件事未来一定会发生的——无论何时，我都希望你的对手对此幸灾乐祸，好让你明白体育精神是多么难能可贵。

 

我希望你被忽视，好让你学会倾听，我希望你经历过足够的痛苦，好让你学会同情。

 

无论我有没有祝福你经历这些，这些早晚都会发生，至于你能不能从这些事里受益，就要看你有没有能力看到隐藏在不幸背后的信号。

缺乏自省的人生不值一活

 

现如今，毕业典礼上的演讲者们还得给一些建议，有些建议很宏大，有些建议很实用，而他们给得最多的建议，就是让你做你自己。

 

话说回来，让每个人都穿得一模一样也很奇怪啊，但你必须——必须做你自己，但你也得明白，这究竟意味着什么——除非你是完美的——这可不是教你不去做出任何改变。

 

某种意义上，你不能只是做你自己，你得去尝试一些更好的东西。当人们说“你得做你自己”时，他们是希望你抑制住你的冲动，不一味迎合他人对你的期待，但如果你不了解你自己，你是无法成为你自己的，而你永远无法了解你自己，除非你认真思考这个问题。

 

古希腊哲学家苏格拉底曾说，“缺乏自省的人生不值一活。”“放手一搏”可能是我们完成某些事时绝佳的座右铭，它却不能很好地指导你走好你前面的人生路。拥有美满人生的一个重要线索，是不要试图活在美好的生活里。而迷失对你最重要的价值观的最好方法，则是压根就不要去思考。这就是我给你们的建议。

每周写一封信，记住人们的名字

 

你们很快就要去新学校了，这里有一些小建议。在过去这些年，我认识了你们中的不少人，我知道，你们都是好样的，你们都是贵族子弟，如果你们在来这所学校之前还不是，那么现在也是了。我的建议是：不要做那些标榜特权的事。

 

当你去到新学校，看到修剪枝叶、清扫积雪、倒垃圾的人，你要走上去自我介绍，记住他们的名字，在学校里遇到他们时，记得叫他们的名字。

 

另一个小建议是，当你在人行道上，碰到了你记不得的人时，微笑，看着他们的眼睛然后问好。最差的事情也不过你成了众所周知的“微笑问好男”，但这也没有不好的。

 

过去你们在学校里只能看到男生，现在，你们中的大多数人会有女同学，对于这一点，我是没有建议了。

 

最后一个小建议，非常简单，但我觉得会对你们的人生带来至关重要的影响。

 

每个星期，你都抽空写一张纸条给一个人，不是发邮件，是写在纸上的一封信，这大约会花你10分钟。找个大人问问，他就会告诉你什么是邮票，然后你就可以把邮票贴到信封上。

 

再次强调，10分钟，每个星期。我现在就来帮助你，决定你第一封信写点什么。上面会写着：“亲爱的老师，我已经开始了新学校的生活。我们用英语阅读。足球训练好难，但我乐在其中。谢谢你曾用心教导我。”然后把纸条放进一个信封，贴上邮票，寄出去。这对愿意教中学男生的老师们来说意义深远。

 

就像我说的，这件事每周只会花你10分钟时间。但等到你的学校生活结束，你就给40个人寄出了纸条。40个人因此而感到了一点不同，他们也会因此而觉得你不同，这一点任何人都夺不走。

 

建议足够多了。最后，我想借我读过的一段重要的歌词作为结束。前面，我谈到了古希腊哲学家苏格拉底，下面，我要引用的歌词来自伟大的美国哲学家Bob Dylan，他在某次旅程因思念儿子而作。

歌词列出了一个父母对自己的儿女的祝愿，也是儿女成长的目标。这些祝愿，美好、永恒、普遍又真挚，除了其中一点，即歌名和副歌——那是一声哀叹，而非一句祝愿。下面附上Bob Dylan的Forever Young歌词：

 

May God bless you and keep you always

愿上帝保佑你

 

May your wishes all come true

愿你所有美梦终成真

 

May you always do for others

愿你无私帮助他人

 

And let others do for you

也接受他人馈赠

 

May you build a ladder to the stars

愿你能筑梯摘星

 

And climb on every rung

一步一脚印

 

And may you stay forever young

愿你永远年轻

 

May you grow up to be righteous

愿你成长为正直的人

 

May you grow up to be true

愿你永葆真诚

 

May you always know the truth

愿你世事洞明

 

And see the lights surrounding you

愿你的眼睛里总有光

 

May you always be courageous

愿你总能勇往直前

 

Stand upright and be strong

昂首挺胸

 

And may you stay forever young

愿你永远年轻

 

May your hands always be busy

愿你的双手永远充实

 

May your feet always be swift

愿你的步伐永远轻快

 

May you have a strong foundation

愿你踏踏实实

 

When the winds of changes shift

世事总无常

 

May your heart always be joyful

你的内心却始终洋溢着欢乐

 

May your song always be sung

愿你的歌谣永远唱响

 

And may you stay forever young

愿你永远年轻

以下为该段演讲的原文：

Now around the country today at colleges, high schools, middle schools, commencement speakers are standing before impatient graduates. And they are almost always saying the same things. They will say that today is a commencement exercise. ‘It is a beginning, not an end. You should look forward.’ 

And I think that is true enough, however, I think if you’re going to look forward to figure out where you’re going, it’s good to know where you’ve been and to look back as well. 

 

And I think if you look back to your first afternoon here at Cardigan, perhaps you will recall that you were lonely. Perhaps you will recall that you were a little scared, a little anxious. And now look at you. You are surrounded by friends that you call brothers, and you are confident in facing the next step in your education.

 

It is worth trying to think why that is so. And when you do, I think you may appreciate that it was because of the support of your classmates in the classroom, on the athletic field and in the dorms. And as far as the confidence goes, I think you will appreciate that it is not because you succeeded at everything you did, but because with the help of your friends, you were not afraid to fail. 

 

And if you did fail, you got up and tried again. And if you failed again, you got up and tried again. And if you failed again, it might be time to think about doing something else. But it was not just success, but not being afraid to fail that brought you to this point.

 

Now the commencement speakers will typically also wish you good luck and extend good wishes to you. I will not do that, and I’ll tell you why. 

 

From time to time in the years to come, I hope you will be treated unfairly, so that you will come to know the value of justice. I hope that you will suffer betrayal because that will teach you the importance of loyalty. Sorry to say, but I hope you will be lonely from time to time so that you don’t take friends for granted. 

 

I wish you bad luck, again, from time to time so that you will be conscious of the role of chance in life and understand that your success is not completely deserved and that the failure of others is not completely deserved either. 

 

And when you lose, as you will from time to time, I hope every now and then, your opponent will gloat over your failure. It is a way for you to understand the importance of sportsmanship. I hope you’ll be ignored so you know the importance of listening to others, and I hope you will have just enough pain to learn compassion. 

 

Whether I wish these things or not, they’re going to happen. And whether you benefit from them or not will depend upon your ability to see the message in your misfortunes.

 

Now commencement speakers are also expected to give some advice. They give grand advice, and they give some useful tips.The most common grand advice they give is for you to be yourself. 

 

It is an odd piece of advice to give people dressed identically, but you should — you should be yourself. But you should understand what that means. Unless you are perfect, it does not mean don’t make any changes. 

 

In a certain sense, you should not be yourself. You should try to become something better. People say ‘be yourself’because they want you to resist the impulse to conform to what others want you to be. But you can’t be yourself if you don’t learn who you are, and you can’t learn who you are unless you think about it.

 

The Greek philosopher Socrates said, ‘The unexamined life is not worth living.’ And while ‘just do it’ might be a good motto for some things, it’s not a good motto when it’s trying to figure out how to live your life that is before you. And one important clue to living a good life is not to try to live the good life. The best way to lose the values that are central to who you are is frankly not to think about them at all. 

So that’s the deep advice.Now some tips as you get ready to go to your new school. Other the last couple of years, I have gotten to know many of you young men pretty well, and I know you are good guys. But you are also privileged young men. And if you weren’t privileged when you came here, you are privileged now because you have been here. My advice is: Don’t act like it.

 

When you get to your new school, walk up and introduce yourself to the person who is raking the leaves, shoveling the snow or emptying the trash. Learn their name and call them by their name during your time at the school. 

 

Another piece of advice: When you pass by people you don’t recognize on the walks, smile, look them in the eye and say hello. The worst thing that will happen is that you will become known as the young man who smiles and says hello, and that is not a bad thing to start with.

 

You’ve been at a school with just boys.Most of you will be going to a school with girls. I have no advice for you.

 

The last bit of advice I’ll give you is very simple, but I think it could make a big difference in your life. Once a week, you should write a note to someone. Not an email. A note on a piece of paper. It will take you exactly 10 minutes. Talk to an adult, let them tell you what a stamp is. You can put the stamp on the envelope.

 

Again, 10 minutes, once a week. I will help you, right now. I will dictate to you the first note you should write. It will say, ‘Dear [fill in the name of a teacher at Cardigan Mountain School].’ Say:‘I have started at this new school. We are reading [blank] in English. Football or soccer practice is hard, but I’m enjoying it. Thank you for teaching me.’Put it in an envelope, put a stamp on it and send it. It will mean a great deal to people who — for reasons most of us cannot contemplate — have dedicated themselves to teaching middle school boys. 

 

As I said, that will take you exactly 10 minutes a week. By the end of the school year, you will have sent notes to 40 people.Forty people will feel a little more special because you did, and they will think you are very special because of what you did. No one else is going to carry that dividend during your time at school.

 

Enough advice. I would like to end by reading some important lyrics. I cited the Greek philosopher Socrates earlier.These lyrics are from the great American philosopher, Bob Dylan. They’re almost 50 years old. 

He wrote them for his son, Jesse, who he was missing while he was on tour. It lists the hopes that a parent might have for a son and for a daughter. They’re also good goals for a son and a daughter. 

The wishes are beautiful, they’re timeless. They’re universal. They’re good and true, except for one: It is the wish that gives the song its title and its refrain. That wish is a parent’s lament. It’s not a good wish. So these are the lyrics from Forever Young by Bob Dylan:

 

May God bless you and keep you always
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung
And may you stay forever young

May you grow up to be righteous
May you grow up to be true
May you always know the truth
And see the lights surrounding you
May you always be courageous
Stand upright and be strong
And may you stay forever young

May your hands always be busy
May your feet always be swift
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift
May your heart always be joyful
May your song always be sung
And may you stay forever young

Thank you.